An Adolescent Boy's Guide to Looking Halfway Decent

Lately, my little brother Jacob has been coming to me for clothing advice. Which is cool, because quite frankly, he could use the help. Not that he dresses heinously- he doesn't. It's just that he happens to be a typical eighth grade boy, and therefore has no qualms with wearing things such as tee shirts with bleach stains or shoes that have gaping holes in them. Today he came up to me while I was catching up on some blog reading and asked me to find him a sweater. Apparently he does not currently own a single one. This was surprising and strange to me until I mentally reviewed what he has worn over the past couple weeks- jeans, tee shirts, the aforementioned hole-bearing sneakers... nary a sweater, or indeed a fit article of clothing, in sight. Yes, it appears Jacob's wardrobe is in a dismal state, but I do not think he is alone. All across the country, there are adolescent boys who wear the same tee shirt three times a week, who haven't stepped foot into a proper dress shoe since the third grade, and who cringe at the thought of anything other than denim coming in contact with their legs. This is lamer than lame. Sure, the style options for boys are dreadfully limited when compared to those of the gentler sex, but certainly they can make more of an effort than this! Here is some stuff that I would have my little brother wear were he not afflicted with his typically masculine fear of clothing variety: Striped sweaters are a good thing to have a lot of if you are a boy. They are comfortable and non-dorky, and they lend an air of niceness to your persona. Boys in striped sweaters are the kind of boys who like puppies and go to expensive colleges. The first one is from Gap for $39.50 and comes in a whole slew of colors. The second is from Urban Outfitters for $48.

Now, on to pants. Jeans are fine, but I am so bored of them. So how about. . .

Some khaki-colored cords, perhaps? Like oh, I don't know, the ones pictured above that are currently on sale for $39? Just a thought.

Or perhaps a casual grey twill? Grey goes with everything, after all, and twill can be worn all year round. These are $40 from CCS. Seriously you guys, I am begging you. I don't really care what particular material you choose to cover your butt with, but please let it be something besides denim at least once in a while.

Okay, so I know most boys will wear a tee shirt under any circumstance that allows them to. Most would probably wear a tee shirt to their wedding if their bride was down with that. Anyways, if you're going to wear tee shirts every day, at least wear cool ones from Threadless. Like these:

All $15. Sweet.

Alright, so those ugly "skate" shoes that the majority of the boys at my school wear. LAME and AWFUL. No more. May I suggest Chuck Taylors? I'm not talking about your basic black low top. I mean, those are acceptable, but quite frankly rather boring. And since most guys only have one pair of shoes that they wear every day, that one pair should really be more interesting. Like these, for instance: These are so fly. If I was a fellow I would totally rock these. As a matter of fact, I might rock them anyways. . . Christmas present, anyone? $95 from converse.com.
So these are kind of badass, in a geriatric sort of way. I like them a lot. $97 from converse.com.
Orange suede! I don't know about you, but I am all over this crazy combination. $109 from converse.com.

And finally, we come to accessories. I know that the guys for whom I am writing this guide (i.e., my brother) don't really care that much about jewelry, bags, hats and such, but sometimes they add that extra je ne sais quoi to an outfit that make you look cool. Every guy should have a nice watch, for one thing, like this one:

This is not a sissy watch, you guys. It's got buckles and grommets and a stamped leather strap, and Roman numerals on the face, even. It is called the Adventurers Watch and it is by Etsy seller Marcus Stratus for $70.

Messenger bags are a good thing to have, too. Not for carrying all day every day, but just for school and travel and so forth.

This one will do the job nicely, I'm sure. It's down from $50 and is now $18. I like the mossy green color and it is not the sort of messenger bag that people might call you gay for carrying, I don't think. It is from amazon.com.

Whew. This post took forever to write. Too bad no boys will ever see it. Next time, it is definitely back to skirts and earrings and unicorns and all that other girlie stuff. Boy fashion is kind of boring.

Maddy